We’ve got to “get people out of their rooms” – another unfounded pressure?

Why do we say people “should get out of their room”? Who am I to say that you, or anyone, should get out of their room/house?

Although this is well intended in long-term care living, I learned when I got married to drop the word should. Most of us don’t love being “should-ed.” I hate to write this but I have heard of activity team members telling people if they don’t come to the group activity they could lose their job… there is the epitome of “should-ing.”

I felt the pressure also in my day but one day I feel as if I “grew up” and realized “who am I to think that I should make a person get out of their room? Take the pressure off of you and your team and the beautiful people you serve to tell, or even think, that anyone should get out of their room. We could simply turn this into an honest question if nothing else and if they say, “Nope I’m fine,” we gladly let it go.

And although, yes, it is typically good for us, we often do feel better after getting out of the house or its equivalent here out of the room, this does not need to be the focus.

Look how we have institutionalized this issue now too. We have sort of made it a problem. “They won’t come out of their rooms.” We’ve created a problem where there is none. This is institutional culture. Don’t let it happen. Be a guardian of normal life. None of us like to be forced or pressured. In our history we have sadly been forced to create “problems” on care plans. Do not let that happen to you. Notice this institutional issue sort of stems from that.

At an activity professionals conference just coming out of the pandemic in 2021, sure enough, the first question to the audience was “What have you done to get people to out of their rooms?” Look closely at the answers.

Offer wine.

Offer outside.

Offer sit by the river.

Baking.

Root beer floats.

Music.

Hair done/pampered days.

What do all those things have in common? They are normal, real life. No contrived groups. We can give ourselves permission to offer real life, normal life, not everything in a group. Good news, there is no regulation that tells us to get people out of their rooms. I’ll take it, how about you? A win. Let’s let go of this undue pressure and focus on the person, their life, how they want to live it, their interests, preferences, joys – these are found in  regulations more than getting out of the room. And again, as included in previous articles, a focus on a person’s interests probably results in the person coming out of the room naturally. Someone loves horses. You get a horse to visit. That person very likely ends up outside to see and touch and enjoy the horse. However, I also am not suggesting to game it. Focus on interests, that is what Tag 679 tells us to do and just see what happens.

Give yourself permission to trade the contrived pressure of getting people out of their rooms for instead a focus on the privilege of helping them to enjoy their lives.

Carmen Bowman, MHS, is a former activity director, state surveyor (thonored to be the first certified activity professional o be one)t, federal surveyor CMS Central Office training surveyors, is an Eden Alternative Associate and Mentor and Certified Validation Presenter. She has fun calling herself a Regulator turned Educator as owner of Edu-Catering: Catering Education for Compliance and Culture Change. She hopes to inspire chipping away at institutional culture using regulations – moving away from traditional activity programing to normal life.  Activity consulting, personalized continuing education. Conversations with Carmen and culture change workbooks at www.actionpact.com.  www.patreon.com/educatering carmen@edu-catering.com 303-981-7228  www.edu-catering.com The Culture Change Minute and more at www.facebook.com/Edu-catering